


Skyfall

by mrswellrested



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Lovers, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28639920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrswellrested/pseuds/mrswellrested
Summary: He's returned, but she's not there.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Elliot Stabler
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This fic came from a desire to write something different than I usually write. It's a take on the enemies to lovers trope. I hope you all enjoy. Please let me know what you think! And I promise I haven't forgotten about my other fics.

_Skyfall is where we start_   
_A thousand miles and poles apart_   
_Where worlds collide and days are dark_   
_You may have my number, you can take my name_   
_But you'll never have my heart_

After ten years, he was sucked back in.

Elliot Stabler looked around his office. It was small and sparse, but it was his. The sleek, modern style desk held a couple group photos of him and his children along with a stack of manilla folders and his laptop. Certifications and accommodations hung in frames on one wall while the other remained bare, waiting to be decorated. The gray shades were pulled down and blocked his view of the squad room. The window behind his desk, which was now the home of a gifted ivy plant, looked down at the parking lot of One Police Plaza six stories below. It wasn't the ideal view, but at least he could watch the sunset if he desired. There was no sunset, or any sun at all. Instead, gray clouds blanketed the city preventing the fall day from getting any warmer.

The past couple of months had been a whirlwind filled with meetings and negotiations, and somehow they had convinced him to return to the NYPD as the commanding officer of the Organized Crime Unit. He hadn't pictured himself ever returning to the police force.

After he'd retired officially from the NYPD, the FBI had snatched him. They offered a large sign on bonus, the promise of a fulfilling career, and a completely new change of pace before they had moved him across the country to San Francisco. He had been placed in charge of a large sex trafficking case, which was not what he was told he'd be doing.

He'd told them he'd help with that one case before leaving the agency, but somehow one case had turned into a decade. As soon as he'd decided to retire again, the commissioner of the NYPD was calling him. Elliot was a wanted man amongst the lettered law enforcement agencies.

Organized Crime promised to be a change of pace though. He wouldn't have to deal with the trauma that came from sex crimes. He wouldn't have to watch the life being sucked out of children. He wouldn't have to spend nights wondering if that victim who went back to their abuser was going to make it. Special Victims and the FBI may have been dark paths to walk, but Organized Crime was a whole new type of darkness.

They had caught a case during his first week with the unit. It involved a former member of a prominent Italian crime family being assassinated right in the middle of a restaurant filled with patrons. The case had led him down a rabbit hole of drug smuggling and arms dealing. He'd enjoyed working it and got a rush when they busted the notorious mob boss and his cronies.

Since returning to the NYPD, he'd been able to catch up with a few of his former coworkers. He heard Cragen had retired and was living his dream retirement in Florida. Munch had retired a couple of years prior as well. As far as Elliot knew, Munch was working on some book about corruption and conspiracies within the government. He was surprised to find out Fin had been made Captain of SVU. He didn't think Fin was the wrong choice, but he thought it would have been Olivia.

The subject of Olivia had crossed his mind a great deal over the last decade. He spent days replaying their last days together, wishing desperately to go back to her. He knew leaving without telling her was wrong. She deserved better than that-so much more than that. He had dodged her calls and messages because he knew she'd only follow him into retirement. Elliot wasn't going to be the reason she threw her career away.

He missed her so much. He could still see her smile in his mind's eye and hear her laughter. Leaving her had been one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made. He had spent nights thinking about the shooting and what he could have done differently. The look of shock and horror Olivia had on her face was permanently etched into his mind.

The time after the shooting he spent days sitting on the couch with a glass of amber colored liquid, staring into space as he tried to come to terms with what he had done. He had spent a while thinking about what she thought of him. He shot a child after all-a grief stricken child who was only ever trying to make sense of the world crumbling around her.

He had hated himself for it. Anytime he'd see his phone light up-see her name flash across the screen, he ignored her. He needn't drag her down with him.

It had been a year after leaving SVU and joining the FBI when he tried to call her. He'd thought it strange that her number had been disconnected. When he'd tried to call Cragen, Munch, and Fin to find out what was going on, he'd been given the cold shoulder and told "She's no longer on the force."

Elliot had never found out what happened to her. No one knew where she went or how to get a hold of her. It was like Olivia Benson had disappeared into thin air. All he knew was that she wasn't dead. As morbid as it sounded, he regularly checked the obituary and state death records, praying he'd never see her name.

The way his former squad had treated him at the time made him believe it had been his fault Olivia left. Perhaps it had been, but Elliot never intended for that to be the outcome.

The train of thought was interrupted by a knock on his door. "Come in," he called out as he sat behind his desk. He watched the door open and a young, dark-haired, light-eyed man poked his head into the office.

"Sorry to bother you, Captain, but we got a call," the man said.

"Okay? Take Phillips with you and check it out."

"There's more, sir."

"Well spit it out, Johnson, what is it?"

"There was a message for you. Left on the body."

Elliot raised an eyebrow. "For me, huh?"

"Yea, that's what dispatch said. You might want to come along."

"Alright, give me five and I'll be ready to roll out."

Aiden Johnson nodded and slipped out the door, closing it behind him with a quiet click.

Elliot pushed Olivia from his mind. He'd worry about her later. He let years of training take over as he grabbed his service weapon from his desk drawer. He looked the glock over before popping out the magazine. The brass bullets sat ready to use in the clip. He shoved the magazine back into the glock and pulled back to the slide, chambering a single round. He flipped the safety with his thumb before sheathing the weapon into the holster on his belt. He wasn't sure what to expect. Every case was different, some more mundane than others, but he was prepared to face whatever this case was about to bring to him.

As he moved around his desk to retrieve his coat from the rack, the sky grew darker outside.

* * *

"So why was this given to OC anyway?" Elliot asked as he walked alongside his two detectives.

"Body was found washed up on the shore of the Hudson with a symbol carved into his chest. It matches other bodies that were found before you became captain, sir," the blonde-haired man answered. "But this is the first time there was a message."

"And this symbol is a symbol for a group?"

The blonde nodded. "It's sort of a vigilante group from what we figured. They go after sex offenders, pedophiles, and you know, the scum. They're doing God's work if you ask me."

"No one asked you, Phillips," Aiden said. "Despite them going after scum, they're still criminals. In case you forgot, murder is illegal."

"Anyway," Liam Phillips continued, rolling his eyes at his partner. "We caught one of their members last year — an eighteen-year-old kid from Brooklyn. Lawyered up right quick and refused to answer any questions. Ended up taking a plea bargain. Kid's doing three years in Sing-Sing."

"You've been working on this case for how long?" Elliot asked.

"At least five years," Aiden answered. "And whoever these people are, they keep getting better and better. We haven't been able to nail them for anything. It's like they know exactly what we're going to look for."

Elliot hummed in response. Theories formed in his head as he ducked under the yellow police tape and approached the bank of the river. On the shore lay the body of a heavyset man with salt and pepper hair. There was a strange symbol carved over his left breast.

"We know his name?" Elliot asked.

"Not yet. He didn't have an ID," Liam answered. "But if he's an offender, he'll be in the system. Shouldn't take too long to figure out who he is."

"Do you have a time of death?" Elliot asked the ME, who was kneeling next to the body making notes.

"About ten hours ago," the woman answered. "No obvious causes. The wounds on his chest aren't deep enough to cause any damage. He's got a contusion on the side of his head here. My guess he was knocked out, dumped, and drowned. I won't know for sure until I can open him up."

"And where's this message?" Elliot asked, turning to look at Phillips.

The detective put up a finger before excusing himself to the CSU van. He came back a moment later with a piece of paper laid out flat in a clear evidence bag.

"It's water damaged, but you can still read it," Phillips said as he handed Elliot the bag.

Elliot took it and looked at the message. The dark ink ran down the paper, but the writing was still legible.

_Did you miss me, Elliot Stabler?_

The writing looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place it. As he reread the note, a bad feeling formed in the pit of his stomach. Someone was watching him and wanted his attention. For what though, he hadn't a clue. He had made a lot of enemies in his life, but couldn't hazard a guess at who this could be.

"Seems someone knows you're back, boss," Aiden remarked.

Elliot shook his head and handed him the evidence bag. "You think?" He watched his two detectives return the evidence to CSU before going to talk to some of the uniformed officers on scene. He turned his gaze from them to the Hudson River. He lost count how many times he stood along that river working a case. It was different this time though. He was alone and partnerless. There was no Olivia to steady him or quell the anger he felt for their victim.

" _We'll find them."_ She'd say.

As soon as he heard her voice in his head, a sudden realization hit him. His stomach dropped and the bad feeling grew larger. He prayed to God he was wrong as he walked over to the CSU van to reexamine the message that was left for him.

_Did you miss me, Elliot Stabler?_


	2. Chapter 2

The sun had gone down hours before, and Elliot was sitting in the dimly lit office. He didn't turn on the desk lamp but instead sat illuminated in the light coming from the screen of his laptop. He had spent the last several hours Googling Olivia Benson hoping to find something to point him in her direction. The last record he had found of her was the sale of her Mustang about a year after she'd left SVU. The record of the sale indicated that she still lived at her apartment on West 89th, but Elliot knew she wasn't there. He had tried looking up her driver's license but didn't find anything current. He had even checked her alias, Rachel Martin, and still found nothing.

He glanced at the printed picture of the note found on their victim. He hadn't told anyone of his suspicions. He needed to know if he was right or not first. He wasn't sure what he'd do if he was.

All he knew was that he needed to find her.

He glanced at the file folders sitting next to his laptop. They were everything Organized Crime had on the vigilante group over the five years they'd been active. Next to that stack of folders were more files from closed cases SVU had on the sex offenders that had been murdered. According to Aiden, SVU had been more than happy to give the whole case to OC.

"They had too much on their plate, I guess," Aiden had told him when he'd delivered the files to Elliot earlier that day.

Elliot thought it strange that SVU had willingly handed them the case files with no questions asked. When he'd worked Special Victims, anything that had even a hint of a sex crime had stayed with the unit. They had always fought to keep the cases inhouse and would work with other units and precincts for joint operations. Even though the cases were closed, the unit didn't seem to want to be involved with the ongoing OC case. Elliot supposed that, like everything else, things had changed.

As he began looking through the files, Elliot began to recognize some of the victims. The first was a man who was sexually abusing his thirteen-year-old step-daughter. Elliot and Olivia had caught the case and arrested him after their investigation. The man had gotten off with only a year of jail time and probation. Elliot remembered how upset Olivia had gotten when the judge had read the verdict. Her fists had been clenched tightly on the top of her thighs, and her eyes had been full of fire as she had bitten her lip to stop herself from yelling out in open court.

" _It's not fair. He's going to get out and go right back to that house,"_ she had said when they'd gotten out of court that day.

The case had been one of the first he and Olivia had worked together. He'd always thought it had been a wake-up call for Olivia, showing her that the justice system wasn't always fair or right.

The second victim had also been a former perp from their partnership together. The woman who had been found dead in an alleyway had gotten off on the rape of one of her students solely because she had been a woman.

As Elliot kept looking through the case files, the pattern was becoming clear: the deceased were all offenders and abusers who had escaped their deserved punishment. Justice had never been upheld, and it had allowed all of them to go free or get off with a slap on the wrist. They weren't all perps he and Olivia busted. Some were from Queens and Brooklyn SVU. Some had been arrested by Fin and Munch. Others had been caught by detectives that had come after Elliot had left SVU.

Reading the pages in the folders made his eyes tired. He blinked several times before closing his laptop and pushing the files aside. He grabbed his phone and checked for messages and wasn't surprised there weren't any. The relationship with his children was rocky. They resented him for having been away so much over that last decade. He had missed important events in their lives. He had missed watching his youngest son grow.

He glanced up at the photo of his children on his desk. Maureen was married now, expecting her first child in a couple of months. Kathleen was engaged. Lizzie was working on her master's degree. Dickie, despite Elliot's protests, had joined the military and was working his way through the ranks. Eli was fourteen now and living in Florida with his mother. Kathy had told him Eli was a talented musician and was playing the saxophone in his high school marching band. His ex-wife would send him pictures and videos from Eli's competitions. Elliot was proud of his youngest but regretted so much that he was never there.

Attempts to mend his relationship with his children were underway. He'd had dinner with Maureen and her husband as well as Kathleen and her fiance a week prior. He had exchanged phone calls with Lizzie and emails with Dickie. Eli would send a text every once in a while.

Perhaps he deserved his new life alone. After all, he had left everyone who mattered to him.

Elliot packed his laptop and the casefiles into his shoulder bag before turning off the lamp and exiting his office. He bid goodnight to the night shift detectives and the desk sergeant before making his way down the six stories to his car.

He stopped once on his way to his apartment to grab a sandwich from a bodega and ate as he drove the rest of the way home. When he was finally unlocking his apartment door, he felt like he could fall asleep right there on the floor. He dumped his bag and coat onto the small kitchen table that was overflowing with mail, bills, and various other papers. He grabbed a glass and the bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and poured himself a drink before falling into the armchair in front of the tv.

The eleven o'clock news had just started, and their top story was the arrest of a flasher in Central Park. He watched as Fin gave a statement on the television about how hard his unit worked and what the next steps were. Elliot took a sip of his whiskey, and his mind flashed back to his time in SVU. He could remember watching Cragen make similar statements to the media after a big bust. Sometimes he'd push the reporters off onto him and Olivia. Olivia would always know what to say though. She had saved his ass in that department more than once.

He sat the drink onto the coffee table and flipped through the channels. He stopped on a history channel talking about the Battle of Stalingrad during WWII. The narrator had a low, calming voice, and Elliot felt his eyelids grow heavy. When he couldn't focus on the tv any longer, he allowed sleep to take over.

When he opened his eyes next he was in his office. It was dark and silent. The only source of light was the full moon shining through the window. Elliot thought it was weird. He could have sworn he'd gone home, but it wasn't the first time he had fallen asleep at his desk. He began the process of packing his bag when he heard a thud. He stopped what he was doing and listened closely. He then heard the sound of heels on the tile outside his office.

Elliot stood, a hand on his hip where his gun rested, and slowly made his way to the office door. When he opened it, he found the squad room empty and dark.

"Did you miss me, Elliot?"

A light clicked on at Aiden's desk, and there sat Olivia, perched on the edge of the desk. Her hair was longer and wavier than he remembered. Her eyes were lined with dark makeup and her lips painted a deep red. She was dressed in a tight black dress with thin straps and black, knee-high, high-heeled boots. Her arms were folded across her chest as she stared at him with cold eyes. Despite her look of hatred towards him, Elliot felt the oxygen leave his lungs as he involuntarily exhaled. His face grew hot, and the heat crept down through his body as arousal made its home within him. She was irresistible, and it wasn't the first time he'd thought that about his former partner. He had spent a fair amount of time daydreaming about her body and how he'd like his hands to roam over her figure.

He was too busy staring back at her to notice the body that sat on the floor at her feet. It was the same man from the crime scene earlier that day. The symbol that was carved into his chest was fresh and bloody, and his eyes stared blankly up at the ceiling.

"Well, did you miss me?" Olivia asked again, sliding off the desk's edge and stepping over the man's body. She walked up to Elliot and cupped his cheek with her hand. It was warm and...wet. "Because I missed you," she breathed, sliding her fingers down his cheek to his lips and swiping her thumb over them. Elliot stepped back and touched the spot Olivia's fingers touched. When he pulled his hand away to look at it, he saw red staining his fingertips. When he looked back at Olivia, he could see blood covering her hands.

"Olivia, what have you-"

Before he could finish, she lunged at him.

Elliot sat up straight in the armchair panting and sweating as he looked around his dim living room frantically. When he determined that he was alone and safe, he calmed himself, and his breathing returned to normal.

"Just a dream," he muttered. "Just a dream." He glanced at his watch. It was a little after one in the morning. He let out a sigh and turned the tv off before making his way to his bedroom. Just as he was about to strip out of his clothes, his phone began to ring in his pocket. He pulled the phone from his pants and glanced at the screen to find Liam's name on the caller ID. He slid his finger across the screen and lifted the phone to his ear.

"Stabler."

"Sorry for calling so late, Captain," Liam's voice came over the line. "But there's another body and another note."

* * *

Elliot could see his breath as he walked through Battery Park. He regretted not putting on another layer of clothes before leaving the warmth of his apartment. As he made his way through the park towards the crime scene, only the lights along the path lit his way. The moon was obscured behind dark, thick clouds that didn't seem to want to dissipate.

"What do we got?" Elliot asked as a uniformed officer lifted the police tape so he could cross into the crime scene.

"Julia Stephens," Aiden answered as he read from his notes. "Forty-seven. Was found by the park's janitorial crew. Rap sheet says she was arrested in 2016 for abusing her eight-year-old daughter. The daughter later died after she was found unresponsive in the bathtub. Her death was ruled an accident, and Stephens wasn't charged with the death, but she only served three months in jail for the abuse. I remember this case. It was all over the news. People were furious because it was obvious she killed her daughter."

"So another one that got away with a slap on the wrist," Elliot said in a low voice as he looked down at the blonde woman dead on the path. She had the same symbol carved over her heart, and her throat had been slit. The blood from the fatal wound was still wet in a pool around her. "You said there was another note?"

"Right here," Liam said, handing him the note sealed in the evidence bag.

_Because I missed you, Elliot Stabler._

A chill ran down his spine as he read the message over. It was written in the same dark ink with the same handwriting as before. His stomach churned as he read the note again and thought back on the dream he'd just had.

"We got anything else?" Elliot asked, handing the note back to Liam.

"Nothing yet," Liam answered. "No witnesses. No fingerprints or DNA. There are no cameras in this part of the park either. We're flying blind again."

"Alright," Elliot said, pinching the bridge of his nose and clenching his eyes shut. He tried to push Olivia's face from his mind and focus. "Get everything back to the house. I'll meet you there."

"We're on it."

Elliot glanced back at the body once more before ducking under the yellow tape and making his way back down the path. He passed a few uniformed officers on his walk back to his car, but once he got to the entrance of the park, he was alone once more.

He walked down the sidewalk to his car, and as he reached into his pocket for his keys, he got the distinct feeling someone was watching him. He stopped next to the sedan and began to analyze his surroundings. He only saw his own reflection in his car. He looked to his right down the street that ran parallel with the park. There were a few cruisers parked on the curb, but no one in sight. He moved his hand to his hip, ready to pull his gun from the holster as he began to step forward to check the blind spots of the parked vehicles, but his gut screamed at him to turn around.

That was when he spotted her.

At the end of the block, she was standing under the streetlamp, staring at him. Her hands were shoved into the pockets of the long, dark-colored coat she wore over a pair of tight, black pants. Her boots came up to her knees and added a couple of inches of height to her build. Her hair was pulled back from her face into a messy ponytail with wavy tendrils that framed her face. She wore the same dark eyeliner and makeup, and her face had the same hard expression as the one from his dream. She didn't make a move towards him but instead stood still and stared, not saying a word or making a sound.

Elliot felt his pulse begin to race. After ten years she was standing there in front of him, but things were different. This wasn't the Olivia he'd used to know, not the Olivia he had intertwined his life with all those years ago. Even from where he stood, he could feel the energy that radiated from her. It was saturnine and adroit, and it stopped him from moving forward. He'd never feared her before, but Elliot knew that deep down his Olivia was still there. She had to be.

"Olivia?" He called out, wanting to talk to her and get to the bottom of things. He knew if he could just talk to her, he could find his Olivia again.

She didn't respond, and when he began to walk toward her, she turned and crossed the street. Elliot began to jog to catch up, but by the time he reached the corner, a bus stopped him from crossing the road. When the vehicle passed, she had disappeared into the night.

_Because I missed you._


	3. Chapter 3

His mind had tried to process the million and one thoughts that flowed through it. Since he had seen Olivia on the streets the night before, he hadn't been able to make sense of it all. He had started making notes on the ties between Olivia and the current vigilante case, but nothing connected. Olivia wasn't a murderer. She had spent most of her life pursuing justice and upholding the law. Her moral compass had been strong and not easily corruptible. He didn't understand what had happened to change that.

He tapped his pen against the open page of the moleskin journal as he stared out at his squad through the open blinds of his office window. They had spent the better part of the morning grilling him on former suspects he'd arrested or any enemies he might have had, hoping to find a suspect for the recent murders and notes. Elliot hadn't brought up Olivia.

Not yet at least.

Olivia had been keeping tabs on him. He knew that much at least. How else would she have known he was back in the city or where'd he be? He just didn't know how she was doing it. He supposed it was possible there was a mole in his unit. He hadn't gotten the chance to vet everyone working under him. He barely knew his two detectives who had been in charge of the case.

He jotted down his idea before he glanced at the digital copy of Olivia's jacket in an effect to find out what exactly happened to her. He knew logically he could ask Fin, Munch, or Cragen, but Elliot had a feeling, based on the last time he called to ask about her, that none of them would want to tell him anymore.

A knock sounded from the door, and Elliot closed the journal. "Come in."

When the door swung open, Aiden stepped inside and stood behind one of the black, metal chairs in front of Elliot's desk. "We want your opinion on something," Aiden said. "We know the pattern of the vigilante group, so we want to stop over to SVU and see if they have any recent cases where the perp got off lightly. We're hoping maybe we can figure out potential victims and catch the group before they act."

"And you want my opinion on what?"

"If SVU would be willing to work with us. You worked in that unit. You know the captain. Would they help us? Because they haven't been all that helpful thus far."

Elliot leaned back in his chair and thought. Going to SVU would give Fin an excuse to ask what happened to Olivia. Even if Fin still resented him, he wouldn't be able to dodge Elliot if he was standing right in front of him. Perhaps, even, enough time had passed and Fin no longer held anger towards Elliot.

"Well, we can give it a try. It can't hurt at this point. We're just sitting around until our next victim," Elliot said, pushing up from his seat. "Let's go."

The Special Victims Unit squad room had changed a lot since he had last been there. He scanned the bullpen and saw only a blonde and brunette set of female detectives and a few uniformed officers.

"We're here to see Captain Tutuola," Liam said to the desk sergeant sitting at the door, flashing his shield and ID.

"In his office," the man said after glancing the badge over. The man looked to the closed office door and then to the two detectives. "He might be on a call. Hey, Rollins?"

The blonde looked up and stared at the group with curiosity. She held a finger up to her partner and walked over to the desk. "Yea, what's up, Mahoney?" She asked in a southern accent.

"The cap busy? OC wants to talk to him," Mahoney answered.

The detective named Rollins looked them over again. Her eyes landed on Elliot, and she tilted her head. "Do I know you?"

"I don't think so," Elliot answered.

"I've seen a picture of you before. After I first got here. You used to work here?"

"I did."

"You were partners with Olivia Benson?"

"I was."

Rollins pursed her lips and hummed before turning away and walking to the captain's office. She knocked on the door and stuck her head inside a second later. After a minute, she pulled away, and the door opened fully. Fin walked out from behind Rollins and greeted Elliot and his detectives with a nod.

"Stabler," he said, holding his hand out to him. "Good to see ya, man."

"You too, Fin," Elliot replied, shaking Fin's hand before gesturing to the two men next to him. "This is Detective Phillips and Detective Johnson."

Fin shook each of their hands before nodding his head towards the office door behind him. "Let's go into my office."

They followed Fin into the next room, and Elliot couldn't help but notice Rollins was staring at him. She had known Olivia. He wondered if she knew what happened to his former partner and made a note to ask her.

Fin's office was set up similarly to his own. Certificates and accommodations lined the wall along with various pictures. Elliot caught sight of an old photo of the SVU squad from Olivia's first year in the unit. A pang grew in his chest as he looked away and to the other captain.

"What are you doing here, Stabler?" Fin asked as he sat at his desk.

"You're aware of the current case we're working on? The vigilante group?" Elliot began.

Fin nodded. "We gave you all our old case files we had on your victims. I'm not sure what else we can do."

"We were hoping to get some more from you," Aiden spoke up. "Cases where perps got off completely or with a light sentence compared to their crimes. We're hoping we could start tracking these people down and hopefully stop the next attack."

"Do you know how many cases we had like that?" Fin asked incredulously. "Hundreds. You'd be here for the next three months going through them."

"Well, we've been working on this for the last five years, so what's a few more months," Liam shrugged. "But we only need the ones from 1998 on. We haven't had any murders from cases older than that."

1998\. The year Olivia joined SVU.

"I mean, I guess I can get you the files. Nothing that's currently open though," Fin said.

"Of course not. We just need closed cases."

"I'll sign off on the request. You'll have to pick them up from the archive yourself. I'll get one of my detectives to help go through the cases to give you. You could have done this over the phone though."

"I thought asking in person would help convince you," Aiden confessed.

Fin nodded. "You need anything else?"

"No, sir, I think that's everything." The two detectives stood and shook Fin's hand again. "Thank you again, sir."

Fin nodded again as the two men made their way out of his office. He then looked to Elliot. "Something you wanted?"

"Yea, actually," Elliot said. "I wanted to talk to you about Olivia."

Fin's brow furrowed and his face fell as he looked at Elliot. "Why? Why now?"

"Because you and Munch and Cragen never gave me answers when I asked the first time," Elliot said. "And now I need to know."

Fin sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them he looked to one of the pictures hanging on the wall. It was a photo of Fin, Munch, Cragen, Olivia, Rollins, and a man Elliot didn't know. Everyone was smiling except for Olivia. Even in the photo, her eyes looked devoid of any joy or happiness.

"She changed after you left," Fin started. "She kept trying to call you, text you, email you. When you never answered, she went and sat outside your house to wait for you or Kathy to get some answer. She never saw either of you." He shook his head and stood. "She was angry all the time. Snapping at everyone who tried to talk to her. She didn't want to work with her new partner, Nick. I think it was because he reminded her of you. He was a hothead too. Good cop though."

"So, she just left?"

"We had a case...The guy should have went to prison for at least twenty years. He got off because there was a mistake at the lab who ran his DNA, but we all knew he was guilty. It tore Olivia up. It was her case. The stress got to her and she just snapped. She started blaming Nick and had him against the wall, screaming at him. Cragen gave her a choice. Go get help or leave. She handed in her resignation the next day."

The guilt ripped through him like a hot knife through butter. It had been his fault. All of it had been his fault. If he hadn't left...if he had answered her phone calls…

"You all blamed me," Elliot stated.

Fin nodded. "You two—you two were special. Too dependent on each other. When you left like you did and ghosted her, she lost it."

"And you haven't heard from her since?"

"No," he answered. "We tried reaching out, but we couldn't get in touch with her. She moved out of her apartment and changed her number. We even got in touch with her brother. He didn't know where she was either. Figured she didn't want to be found and if she wanted to talk, she knew where to find us." Fin let out a breath and clapped Elliot on the shoulder. "I'm sorry, man. I know you were going through some tough shit, and we blamed you for her leaving. We missed her. I still miss her."

"So do I, Fin, so do I."

* * *

When he had gotten home that night, his mind replayed what Fin had told him nearly a hundred times. The guilt he felt covered him like a shroud, weighing him down heavily. Elliot knew he couldn't change the past and he knew there was no point in dwelling on it. All he could do now was fill in the blanks between Olivia's departure from SVU to her current connections with the vigilante group.

As he stared at the three bottles of water, day-old leftover pizza, and a half-empty gallon of milk in the refrigerator, he thought about how strong Olivia's sense of justice had been. She had always fought for the victim and had done everything possible to make sure victims always got justice. Elliot had supposed it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that Olivia would continue that work, even if it were in a dubious manner. How did she get into the group and what was her role?

Giving up on the idea of dinner, Elliot went to the bathroom connected to his bedroom and turned the hot water tap as far as it would go. He stripped out of his clothes, kicking them out the bathroom and to the hamper sitting just outside the door. It was overflowing with laundry, a testament to just how busy he'd been as of late. He flipped the switch to the vent fan on the ceiling above him and let the whirl drown out the thoughts circling through his head. He stepped into the shower and let the scalding water rain down on him.

As the droplets burned his skin, he returned to his last day at SVU. The shooting had been the clearest memory he had. He could recall the day right down to what he had for lunch with Olivia; a cheeseburger with extra pickles, fries, and a chocolate shake. Olivia had a tuna melt with homemade potato chips and an iced tea. That lunch had been the last time he saw her smile and heard her laugh. In that moment, he'd never been so attracted to her. If only he knew then what he knew now.

When the heat became too much, and his skin redder than a lobster, Elliot turned the water off and threw back the shower curtain. He grabbed the fluffy gray towel from the hook on the wall and dried himself before he continued the rest of his nightly ritual. Once his boxers and t-shirt were on, his teeth brushed, and his apartment locked up for the night, he finally sank down into his bed, praying he'd have a solid night of sleep. He closed his eyes and silenced the thoughts once more.

His eyes opened and he knew he was dreaming. He was back in the SVU squad room. Jenna was laying on the floor dead. Elliot looked down and saw the gun still in his hand. He dropped it and it made a loud clatter on the polished floor. He looked around and noticed the squad room was empty, save for one person standing at the doorway.

Olivia was staring at him. She was dressed in the same outfit he had seen on her a couple of nights before. The cold look she wore had been replaced with one of sadness. Her eyes glanced down to Jenna and then to him.

"It was your fault," she said. "If you stayed...If you weren't a coward I wouldn't have left."

"I'm sorry," Elliot said. "Please, let's talk about it."

"It's too late." Then she turned and began to run.

Elliot took off after her. The hallway outside the bullpen became endless, and Olivia was only several feet in front of her. He kept calling her name, asking her to stop, but she never did. He was never going to catch her.

As he kept running, a foreign knocking noise became apparent to him.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Olivia had disappeared from his view and the dream began to disappear into a fog.


End file.
